Akses Dukungan Psikososial Membantu Korban Keluar dari Jerat Siklus KDRT
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Akses Dukungan Psikososial Membantu Korban Keluar dari Jerat Siklus KDRT

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Disclaimer: Catatan pembelajaran ini tidak memberikan informasi spesifik berupa nama korban dan pelaku, alamat tempat tinggal korban maupun pendamping korban, dan informasi spesifik lainnya yang dapat mengancam keamanan korban. Informasi lebih lengkap hanya dijelaskan dalam dokumen laporan pendampingan. Catatan pembelajaran hanya memberikan informasi terkait kasus secara singkat, kondisi korban, bentuk kekerasan, faktor yang memengaruhi kondisi korban, proses dukungan psikososial dan pendampingan korban, strategi, tantangan dan refleksi dalam proses pendampingan yang dilakukan oleh tim konselor dan pendamping korban dari Yayasan Perempuan Indonesia Tumbuh Berdaya (Pribudaya). Layanan dukungan psikososial dan pendampingan korban secara langsung selama April-September 2025 ini didukung oleh Yayasan Sosial Indonesia untuk Kemanusiaan (IKa) melalui Program Pundi Perempuan 2025 Termin I.

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Seorang perempuan paruh baya baru saja turun dari layanan ojek online. Dia terlihat masih syok dan ketakutan. Ternyata dia baru saja kabur dari rumahnya demi menyelamatkan diri dari ancaman pembunuhan. Dia memilih menjauh dari rumahnya untuk sementara setelah mendapat pertolongan dari tetangga setempat. Dia adalah seorang istri korban kekerasan dalam rumah tangga (KDRT) yang mendapat ancaman pembunuhan dari suaminya sendiri. Kepada salah satu konselor dan pendamping korban dari Yayasan Perempuan Indonesia Tumbuh Berdaya (Pribudaya), korban mulai menceritakan apa yang terjadi pada dirinya. 

Di awal pertemuan, kondisi korban terlihat linglung, bahasa tubuh masih terlihat tegang, korban juga sering terlihat mengepalkan jari, meremas kedua jari, sibuk memegang handphone (hp), berupaya menghubungi anak pertamanya, tetapi belum fokus dan berkonsentrasi dengan baik. Korban belum fokus dan beberapa kali berkomunikasi satu arah saat konseling. Beberapa kali korban duduk tegak dengan tangan memegang hp. Korban juga berkali-kali menjelaskan bahwa ia meninggalkan kulkas di rumahnya pada pengaturan suhu kosong karena ingin membersihkan bunga es. Hanya, di kulkas tersebut banyak bahan baku mentah seperti udang dan khawatir meninggalkan bau tidak sedap. Dia mengatakan, “Nanti bapaknya marah, karena saya tahu dia enggak suka bau-bauan”. 

Berdasarkan pengamatan selama pendampingan yang dilakukan pendamping, korban mengaku sering mengalami psikosomatis, yaitu kondisi di mana masalah emosional atau psikologis mempengaruhi kondisi fisik seseorang. Setelah menikah, dia sering merasa pusing atau sakit setiap kali mengalami tekanan psikologis yang dilakukan suaminya (pelaku) dan gejala lainnya akibat kekerasan yang dilakukan pelaku.

Sebenarnya kekerasan apa yang dialami korban? 

Berdasarkan pernyataan korban dalam proses konseling dan pendampingan secara langsung yang dilakukan konselor Yayasan Pribudaya, korban mengaku mengalami kekerasan dalam rumah tangga (KDRT) dalam bentuk kekerasan psikis hingga ancaman pembunuhan oleh pelaku yang merupakan suaminya. Sebelum kabur dari rumah dan tinggal di rumah aman bersama pendamping korban dari Yayasan Pribudaya, korban tinggal berdua bersama pelaku. Keluarga korban (orangtua korban) tidak tinggal dalam satu wilayah yang sama, sementara keluarga besar pelaku tinggal dekat sekitar rumah korban dan pelaku. Korban mengaku tidak memiliki siapa-siapa di wilayahnya, karena seluruh keluarganya berada di wilayah yang berbeda pulau.

Kekerasan psikis

Korban merupakan seorang ibu rumah tangga dan telah memiliki dua orang anak, perempuan dan laki-laki. Semenjak menikah, korban tidak bekerja dan secara penuh mengurus serta mendampingi kedua anaknya. Korban mengaku mengalami kendala komunikasi dengan suaminya yang merupakan pelaku KDRT sejak awal pernikahan. Pelaku kerap memperlakukan korban dengan kasar secara verbal dan memberikan tekanan psikologis berulang kali, sehingga mengaku kelelahan fisik dan emosional namun tidak memiliki support system. Kekerasan psikis sering terjadi dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Definisi kekerasan dalam Pasal 7 UU No.23 Tahun 2004 tentang Penghapusan Kekerasan dalam Rumah Tangga disebutkan kekerasan psikis adalah perbuatan yang mengakibatkan ketakutan, hilangnya rasa percaya diri, hilangnya kemampuan untuk bertindak, rasa tidak berdaya, dan atau penderitaan psikis berat seseorang. Tindakan kekerasan psikis umumnya sulit untuk dilihat. Seseorang yang menjadi korban pun kerap tidak menyadari bahwa dirinya merupakan korban. 

Kekerasan finansial

Dalam proses pendampingan, korban juga sempat menceritakan bahwa dia mengalami kekerasan finansial yang kini baru disadarinya. Selama bertahun-tahun, korban juga mengalami kekerasan finansial yang dilakukan oleh pelaku. Karena hukuman dari sanksi kekerasan finansial yang dilakukan pelaku memiliki dampak psikologis yang cukup berat, korban sering merasa cemas. Contohnya ketika pendamping korban mengajak korban makan siang, korban sering merasa cemas. Setelah pendampingan dukungan psikologis awal dan menyediakan ruang aman, pendamping korban mendampingi korban untuk mengakses dukungan layanan Unit Pelayanan Perempuan dan Anak (PPA), yang merupakan unit khusus di bawah fungsi ResKrim (Reserse Kriminal). PPA bertugas memberikan pelayanan dan perlindungan terhadap perempuan dan anak yang menjadi korban kejahatan, termasuk kekerasan fisik, psikis, seksual, penelantaran, dan eksploitasi. 

Ketika pendamping mengajak korban untuk makan bersama di tempat yang cukup nyaman untuk makan sambil mengobrol. Namun korban menolak, karena kondisi sudah siang dan khawatir drop, pendamping tetap membujuk korban dan akhirnya korban setuju untuk makan bersama di dekat kantor PPA. Akhirnya korban bersedia makan bersama pendamping dengan biaya makan dari pendamping (salah satu dukungan untuk kebutuhan korban). Dalam percakapan selama makan, korban selalu mengungkapkan keengganannya makan dari biaya pendampingan. Korban seakan merasa tidak nyaman, merasa takut, merasa bersalah pada orang-orang yang telah membantunya karena merasa telah merepotkan. 

Korban juga mengaku bahwa selama beberapa tahun sangat sedikit mendapatkan uang dari pelaku. Keuangan sepenuhnya dipegang pelaku, korban dijatah uang bulanan kurang dari satu juta dan uang tersebut bukan untuk kebutuhan dirinya, melainkan untuk semua kebutuhan rumah tangga lainnya. Namun ketika uang bulanan yang diberikan pelaku tidak cukup, pelaku marah dan menuntut korban agar bisa mengelola uang yang diberikan. Padahal menurut korban uang tersebut kadang hanya cukup untuk satu-dua minggu. Belum lagi harus bayar biaya bulanan untuk bahan makanan, gas, token listrik, dan lain-lain. Padahal, pelaku adalah seorang PNS sudah puluhan tahun. 

Ancaman femisida

Korban juga mengaku mendapatkan ancaman dari pelaku sehingga merasa khawatir dengan keselamatannya. Sehari-hari korban tinggal berdua dengan suaminya, anak korban tinggal berjauhan. Anak pertama korban sudah menikah dan saat ini mengikuti suaminya yang sedang menempuh studi S2-nya di luar kota. Sedangkan anak keduanya saat ini kuliah dan tinggal di kota yang berbeda. Korban mengalami guncangan emosional, dikarenakan pesan singkat melalui whatsapp berupa ancaman akan dibunuh. Korban mengaku sering mendapatkan perlakuan kasar dan ancaman sejak menikah dengan pelaku. Selama proses pendampingan, korban juga selalu ketakutan karena mendapat kecaman terus menerus dari keluarga pelaku. 

Jika korban tidak segera mencari dukungan, maka bisa jadi ancaman ini akan mengarah pada femisida. Femisida adalah pembunuhan terhadap perempuan yang didorong oleh kebencian, dendam, penaklukan, penguasaan, penikmatan dan pandangan terhadap perempuan sebagai kepemilikan sehingga boleh berbuat sesuka hatinya. Karena itu, femisida muatannya berbeda dari pembunuhan biasa karena mengandung aspek ketidaksetaraan gender, dominasi, agresi atau opresi. Femisida bukanlah kematian sebagaimana umumnya melainkan produk budaya patriarkis dan misoginis dan terjadi baik di ranah privat, komunitas maupun negara (Berdasarkan Sidang Umum Dewan HAM PBB dalam siaran pers Komnas Perempuan, 2020)

Gaslighting, pembatasan akses komunikasi dan dukungan

Selama menikah, korban mengaku tidak diperkenankan untuk berpendapat, mencari bantuan dan menurut korban, pelaku selalu melimpahkan kesalahan kepada korban. Kesalahan rumah, anak dan lainnya. Sehingga korban mengaku terbebani secara psikologis dan emosional. Korban sering kali merasa bersalah karena kekerasan yang dialaminya, seringkali karena manipulasi atau intimidasi dari pelaku. Kekerasan verbal dan psikis bisa berdampak besar pada psikologis korban, termasuk merasa rendah diri, cemas, dan depresi. 

Perasaan bersalah pada korban kekerasan seringkali muncul sebagai respons psikologis terhadap trauma yang dialami. Perasaan ini bisa disebabkan oleh berbagai faktor, seperti rasa malu, takut, dan juga pengaruh dari lingkungan yang mungkin menyalahkan korban. Selain itu, rasa bersalah juga bisa merupakan dampak dari “gaslighting”, di mana pelaku kekerasan berusaha membuat korban meragukan pengalaman mereka sendiri. Gaslighting adalah bentuk manipulasi psikologis yang dilakukan oleh seseorang untuk membuat korban meragukan realitas, persepsi, dan bahkan ingatan mereka sendiri. Pelaku gaslighting menggunakan berbagai taktik, seperti menyangkal fakta, mendistorsi ingatan, dan membuat korban merasa bersalah atau gila, sehingga korban mulai tidak percaya pada diri sendiri. Tujuan utama gaslighting adalah untuk mengendalikan korban dan memengaruhi mereka agar tidak mempertanyakan perilaku pelaku. 

Tuntutan multi peran

Korban juga mengaku pelaku kerap menuntutnya untuk melakukan beragam peran sehingga korban mengalami multi beban. Pelaku sering menuntut korban menjadi ibu rumah tangga yang sempurna dan penurut. Tidak peduli apakah korban membutuhkan bantuan dari pelaku atau tidak. Misalnya dalam berbagi peran dalam kerja-kerja domestik dan peran lainnya. Sehingga korban dituntut untuk melakukannya sendirian tanpa bantuan dari pelaku. Pelaku merupakan merupakan anak kedua dari empat bersaudara. Dan menurut korban, pelaku sangat temperamental. Sering menyerang verbal dan tekanan psikologis. Bila sangat marah, pelaku memang tidak melakukan kekerasan fisik, namun kekerasan psikis dengan kalimat-kalimat cacian dan merendahkan korban, seringkali mengepal tangannya sambil menunjukan raut marah. Pelaku bekerja sebagai guru dengan status pegawai negeri sipil (PNS). Pelaku mengaku sulit mengendalikan emosinya (anger issue) yang dimiliki dikarenakan luka psikologis masa kecil, dimana ia tidak pernah didengar. Pelaku menuntut korban menjadi ibu rumah tangga yang sempurna dan penurut. Pelaku tidak menyukai bila korban membantah atau pun komplain, membela diri atau melakukan diskusi mendalam kepadanya. Korban selama ini bertahan demi anak, dikarenakan anaknya khawatir dengan masa depan dan takut bila korban berpisah, akses dukungan finansial yang didapatkan hilang. 

Tidak adanya support system dan ruang aman 

Selama ini korban dilarang pelaku untuk mencari dukungan dan menceritakan apa yang dialami selama berumahtangga. Sehingga saat ini korban tidak mendapatkan dukungan mendalam secara psikologis dan beban psikologis yang dialaminya. Korban mengaku tidak pernah menceritakan kepada siapapun mengenai keadaannya. Sebelum bertemu konselor Yayasan Pribudaya, korban mendapat dukungan dari temannya yang merupakan anggota kegiatan ibu-ibu di lingkungan rumahnya. Temannya bahkan mengaku kaget ketika terjadinya peristiwa ancaman pembunuhan dari pelaku, sehingga korban meminta tolong kepada temannya tersebut. Korban saat ini tinggal bersama pendamping korban di rumah aman. 

Dukungan psikososial dan pendampingan korban 

Dukungan psikososial adalah bentuk bantuan yang diberikan untuk memenuhi kebutuhan psikologis (mental dan emosional) serta sosial individu atau kelompok. Dukungan ini bertujuan untuk membantu korban mengatasi stres, trauma, atau kesulitan psikologis dan sosial, serta memulihkan kesejahteraan korban. Aspek-aspek dukungan psikososial di antaranya: dukungan emosional (mendengarkan, memberikan empati, memberikan dukungan moral); Dukungan praktis (memberikan bantuan materi, informasi, dan layanan); Dukungan sosial (menghubungkan individu dengan sumber daya sosial, seperti keluarga, teman, dan komunitas). Dalam konteks pendampingan ini, korban adalah korban kekerasan dalam rumah tangga (KDRT) yang merupakan salah satu bentuk kekerasan berbasis gender (KBG) yang mendapat dukungan psikososial dan pendampingan korban yang dilakukan oleh Yayasan Perempuan Indonesia Tumbuh Berdaya (Pribudaya) atas dukungan Yayasan Sosial Indonesia untuk Kemanusiaan (IKa) melalui program Pundi Perempuan 2025. 

Di hari pertama pendampingan: pendamping korban dari Yayasan Pribudaya melakukan dukungan dengan menyediakan ruang aman dan psikologis awal atau pertolongan pertama psikologis (Psychological First Aid (PFA)). PFA adalah serangkaian keterampilan yang bertujuan untuk membantu seseorang yang mengalami trauma atau krisis, baik secara langsung atau melalui krisis jarak jauh, untuk mengurangi gejala stres dan meningkatkan kemampuan penanganan situasi tersebut. PFA memberikan dukungan emosional dan sosial untuk membantu individu merasa aman, tenang, dan mendapatkan bantuan yang mereka butuhkan. 

Di hari kedua pendampingan: pendamping korban mendampingi korban untuk mengakses layanan  Unit Pelayanan Perempuan dan Anak (PPA) terdekat. PPA merupakan unit khusus di bawah fungsi ResKrim (Reserse Kriminal). PPA bertugas memberikan pelayanan dan perlindungan terhadap perempuan dan anak yang menjadi korban kejahatan, termasuk kekerasan fisik, psikis, seksual, penelantaran, dan eksploitasi. Pendampingan yang dilakukan pendamping korban ke Unit PPA dilakukan untuk memastikan korban memahami alur pelaporan, apa yang perlu dilakukan, memastikan keamanan korban agar tidak mendapat kekerasan berulang dari aparat penegak hukum (APH), memastikan korban tetap tenang dan percaya diri, memastikan korban tidak merasa sendirian dalam menghadapi situasi yang mungkin membuat dia lelah secara psikologis akibat proses yang dijalani selama di PPA. Namun selama proses konseling dengan psikolog di PPA, pendamping tidak bisa menemani korban hal ini karena SOP dari proses layanan di PPA memastikan korban tidak mendapat intervensi dari pihak manapun. Sehingga, pendamping korban menunggu korban di ruang tunggu. 

Selama proses pendampingan di PPA korban telah melakukan dua kali pertemuan, di antaranya: pendampingan untuk kronologi dan pendampingan psikologis. Jadwalnya pendampingan di Unit PPA akan dilakukan lagi dua minggu setelah pertemuan pertama dan kedua. Adapun kebutuhan korban selama pendampingan di antaranya: menuntut cerai kepada pelaku, pelaku menyetujui perceraian dan mengerti akan mengurus izin perceraian ke atasannya sebagai PNS; Pelaku dituntut untuk memberikan nafkah kepada anak-anaknya sampai korban mendapatkan pekerjaan. Selama ini korban dituntut menjadi IRT dan belum pernah bekerja secara profesional; Pelaku tetap bisa mengunjungi anak-anaknya; Korban menolak harta gono-gini, karena mengutamakan ketenangan dan tidak ingin berselisih lebih lama, korban ikhlas karena tidak ingin perpanjang masalah dan ingin cepat selesai. 

Di hari ketiga pendampingan dan pendampingan selanjutnya: pendamping korban menyediakan rumah aman sementara di rumahnya dan telah mendapat persetujuan korban dan dukungan dari keluarga pendamping. Saat ini proses pendampingan korban yang dilakukan oleh Yayasan Pribudaya masih berlangsung. 

Refleksi Pendampingan Korban

Keterbatasan korban dalam mengungkapkan lapisan kekerasan yang dialaminya: 

Salah satu tantangan dalam proses pendampingan adalah korban di awal pertemuan belum sepenuhnya mampu mengungkap apa yang dialaminya secara runut dan jelas. Tantangan ini sudah normal terjadi bagi korban kekerasan dalam rumah tangga (KDRT) memiliki berbagai lapisan dan bentuk. KDRT mencakup kekerasan fisik, psikis, seksual, dan ekonomi. Korban KDRT dapat mengalami dampak yang serius dan beragam, baik fisik, psikologis, maupun sosial, dan tidak mengenal batasan usia, jenis kelamin, atau lapisan masyarakat. Sehingga dalam proses pendampingan dibutuhkan proses yang tidak singkat untuk menggali lapisan kekerasan yang dialami oleh korban. Apalagi jika korban memiliki keterbatasan dalam mengungkapkan kekerasan yang dia alami, termasuk fakta adanya kekerasan finansial baru terungkap dalam pendampingan hari kedua. 

Faktor budaya patriarki dan relasi kuasa yang disalahgunakan pelaku untuk menekan korban selama bertahun-tahun serta manipulasi yang terus menerus, berdampak pada rasa percaya diri korban, merasa bersalah, serta sekian dampak psikologis akibat. 

Belum lagi manipulasi yang dilakukan pelaku secara bertahun-tahun hingga korban merasa bahwa apa yang dialaminya adalah salah dirinya. Apalagi kekerasan yang dilakukan pelaku selama bertahun-tahun dengan siklus kekerasan yang terus berulang-ulang. Dinamika yang melatarbelakangi terjadinya KDRT dijelaskan sebagai suatu siklus yang dikenal sebagai Cycle of Violence oleh Lenore Walker pada tahun 1979 (Sofia Hardani et al., 2010). Ada tiga fase dalam siklus ini, yaitu (1) fase ketegangan, (2) fase akut/penganiayaan akut, dan (3) fase bulan madu semu.

  1. Pada Fase Ketegangan, pelaku biasanya mulai dengan melakukan ancaman-ancaman. Lalu selanjutnya muncul kekerasan-kekerasan lisan seperti berteriak, mengumpat, dan memaki, atau kekerasan fisik ringan seperti mendorong penyintas hingga hampir terjatuh. Pada kondisi ini biasanya penyintas berusaha menenangkan pelaku. Sayangnya acapkali upaya ini tak berhasil, sehingga penyintas menarik diri untuk menjauhi kemungkinan kekerasan lebih lanjut. Situasi ini makin membuat pelaku merasa lebih superior sehingga akhirnya terjadilah fase kedua.
  2. Pada Fase Akut terjadilah kekerasan yang merupakan ledakan dari ketegangan-ketegangan yang sebelumnya tertahan. Dalam konteks ini pelaku biasanya menyatakan memiliki tujuan untuk memberikan pelajaran kepada penyintas, namun selanjutnya kehilangan kendali. Ada berbagai jenis kekerasan yang dapat terjadi dalam fase ini; meliputi kekerasan fisik seperti pukulan, tendangan, tusukan, tembakan, cekikan, kekerasan seksual dan sebagainya;  serta kekerasan emosional seperti penghinaan yang sangat kasar atau umpatan memalukan yang sangat nyaring sehingga dapat didengar orang lain. Pada Sebagian besar kasus, setelah Fase Akut ini mereda, pelaku meminta maaf dan menyatakan penyesalan kepada penyintas, serta berjanji tak akan mengulangi lagi perbuatannya.
  3. Dalam Fase Bulan Madu Semu ini, biasanya penyintas luluh, mempercayai janji-janji tersebut, dan memutuskan untuk memaafkan pelaku, sehingga situasi tampak tenang. Pada hampir semua kasus, ketenangan yang terjadi tersebut bersifat semu belaka.

Lemahnya sistem dukungan (support system) di lingkungan sekitar korban juga mempengaruhi kondisi korban yang semakin sulit untuk keluar dari jerat KDRT. Dalam konteks kasus ini, korban bahkan dilarang membantah, dilarang mencari dukungan, akses korban untuk mencari dukungan benar-benar dibatasi oleh pelaku. Dampak dari KDRT yang dialami korban selama bertahun-tahun sangat jelas terlihat dari bahasa tubuh dan rasa tidak enakan yang diungkapkan korban. Perlakuan sederhana yang sebenarnya biasa-biasa saja, bagi korban itu sudah luar biasa dimana ada seseorang yang peduli padanya. 

Ancaman dan kecaman bukan hanya dari pelaku namun juga keluarga pelaku. Dalam proses pendampingan, korban juga terus cemas dan ketakutan karena kecaman dari keluarga pelaku yang memang tinggal dekat di sekitar rumah korban terutama ibu mertua pelaku. 

Keterbatasan sumber daya korban. Selain lemahnya support system, keterbatasan sumber daya yang dimiliki korban juga sangat terbatas, dimana korban tidak memiliki pekerjaan dan selama ini bergantung pada pemberian pelaku. Sehingga membutuhkan dukungan untuk biaya makan, transportasi, dan kebutuhan mendasar lainnya. Untuk saat ini korban masih tinggal di rumah pendamping korban dan difasilitasi kebutuhan dasarnya baik kebutuhan makan, transport dan lain-lain. Sementara untuk strategi yang dilakukan selama pendampingan. 

Selain pendampingan secara langsung, Yayasan Pribudaya juga telah mendampingi 13 kasus kekerasan berbasis gender (KBG) melalui konseling online dan 1 kasus pendampingan korban secara langsung. Adapun total layanan konseling selama April 2025 berjumlah 16 layanan konseling online. Layanan dukungan psikososial dan pendampingan korban secara langsung selama April-September 2025 ini didukung oleh Yayasan Sosial Indonesia untuk Kemanusiaan (IKa) melalui Program Pundi Perempuan 2025 Termin I. 

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